13/3/2037
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Channel 666 Loominarty News has caught on to yet another Microsoft Scandal. Over the years, the apparently immortal Bill Gates has been under attack from many different people, in an attempt to claim the Microsoft throne, the most powerful position on earth.
Reporter Big Snake Moey has had his secret MLG anonymous and lizard squad minions working on the case, and this time, it isn't pretty.
It began on the fifth of November, 2036. Bill Gates was hosting yet another major fundraiser for Rothschild family. Many people from around the world, came to support the Rothschild family in their time of need. In the last 2 days, the Rothschild family income has decreased from an average 600% increase to a 599.92% rate, meaning, that if this continued for 1 more year, they would only have 2354 billion trillion dollars, and the world could not stand for that. The people came together, stopped eating for months, to accumulate the necessary funds to save this family, and Bill Gates was spearheading this charity team. "It has been an amazing experience" Said Bill Gates. "It's nice to see how the world can be united, and save its fellow humans from the suffering they could have endured, if they did not receive the necessary help. I would like to thank all our sponsors, and I would like to shout out Rasna corp for being the number 1 ultimate team in FIFA history, and also shout out to HAFTechnosports for reaching 300 trillion views, also I have my bets on Stigasaurus Rex (MK) in the CSGO tournaments, he's got it definitely, and when he wins, and gets the 1 billion dollars prize, I'm sure him and his wife Melanie will be more than happy to donate to our cause. It's been a long run, but we already have confirmation from Rasna Corp and HAFTechnosports that they will be joining the cause!" When asked what his next fundraiser would be, he replied "We are aiming next, to help the poor people of Africa, the city of Johannesburg needs our support, and we will help it maintain it's rank as one of the richest cities in Africa."
CEO of Microsoft Bill Gates was very excited at the fundraiser, and to be honest, he wouldn't shut up when big snake was interviewing him, which made big Snakes assistant "Mr. Pipster" run away to say hi to Justin Bieber. However, Mr Gates' excitement was short lived. As Bill Gates stepped up to the Isle, he began with a speech addressing the people, and after the speech, he was going to make a Paypal transfer to the family, Bill Gates, being the genius that he is, decided to send it under "family and friends" in order to avoid paying the tax to Paypal, which made the crowd crying from joy, thinking that he did it because he wanted to imply that the Rothschilds are friends of the donors (lucky big snake was there to catch on the real reason). Everything was going well, until the unexpected occurred. Bill gates did not have the necessary funds to send the payment, and all hell broke loose. Bill Gates was devastated, and the Big Snake Moey was proven true, Bill Gates was not immortal, for this event, lead to a heart attack and he died (riperoni in pepperoni 1 minute silence pls), Once again Loominarty news did not fail you, we were right, so don't forget to go on twitter and use the #loominartyconfirmed and spread the word.
Reporter Big Snake Moey has had his secret MLG anonymous and lizard squad minions working on the case, and this time, it isn't pretty.
It began on the fifth of November, 2036. Bill Gates was hosting yet another major fundraiser for Rothschild family. Many people from around the world, came to support the Rothschild family in their time of need. In the last 2 days, the Rothschild family income has decreased from an average 600% increase to a 599.92% rate, meaning, that if this continued for 1 more year, they would only have 2354 billion trillion dollars, and the world could not stand for that. The people came together, stopped eating for months, to accumulate the necessary funds to save this family, and Bill Gates was spearheading this charity team. "It has been an amazing experience" Said Bill Gates. "It's nice to see how the world can be united, and save its fellow humans from the suffering they could have endured, if they did not receive the necessary help. I would like to thank all our sponsors, and I would like to shout out Rasna corp for being the number 1 ultimate team in FIFA history, and also shout out to HAFTechnosports for reaching 300 trillion views, also I have my bets on Stigasaurus Rex (MK) in the CSGO tournaments, he's got it definitely, and when he wins, and gets the 1 billion dollars prize, I'm sure him and his wife Melanie will be more than happy to donate to our cause. It's been a long run, but we already have confirmation from Rasna Corp and HAFTechnosports that they will be joining the cause!" When asked what his next fundraiser would be, he replied "We are aiming next, to help the poor people of Africa, the city of Johannesburg needs our support, and we will help it maintain it's rank as one of the richest cities in Africa."
CEO of Microsoft Bill Gates was very excited at the fundraiser, and to be honest, he wouldn't shut up when big snake was interviewing him, which made big Snakes assistant "Mr. Pipster" run away to say hi to Justin Bieber. However, Mr Gates' excitement was short lived. As Bill Gates stepped up to the Isle, he began with a speech addressing the people, and after the speech, he was going to make a Paypal transfer to the family, Bill Gates, being the genius that he is, decided to send it under "family and friends" in order to avoid paying the tax to Paypal, which made the crowd crying from joy, thinking that he did it because he wanted to imply that the Rothschilds are friends of the donors (lucky big snake was there to catch on the real reason). Everything was going well, until the unexpected occurred. Bill gates did not have the necessary funds to send the payment, and all hell broke loose. Bill Gates was devastated, and the Big Snake Moey was proven true, Bill Gates was not immortal, for this event, lead to a heart attack and he died (riperoni in pepperoni 1 minute silence pls), Once again Loominarty news did not fail you, we were right, so don't forget to go on twitter and use the #loominartyconfirmed and spread the word.
Back to the story. Bill Gates was dead, and thanks to Big snake's aforementioned minions, anonymous and lizard squad, we know everything that happened, and you will now too.
Bill gates brother John, with the help of Akio Morita (owner of sony) have conducted a cyber-military coup on the multibillionare Bill Gates, and seized control of all his assets, including, the legendary 1337 model Xbox 420, and all the nuclear launch codes aimed at the Sony headquarters have been retrieved. Bill Gates was left with nothing, and could not send the payments, he also has no control over his own company, his bank has been frozen, and he is living in a mansion owned by his own brother. Well he's children are living there, he's dead. Over the last few years, Microsoft has been dominating Sony, after joining forces with steam, so Moritas motives for the coup are clear. However, Bill's brother was living in the most luxurious conditions, and people are not willing to accept that he had a part to do in this. Therefore, Big Snake utilized his contact, Mr Tekniq Swagg, the ultimate hacker, to hack into John Gates iphone message history, and they discovered that he was asking for money. Bill gates refused, and John made an interesting statement, which could be considered as a threat. This does not prove anything, but it's a start. Bill gates said "..Kill yourself, and stop being greedy" to his brother, and was met with a eyebrow raising reply "We'll see, *evil grin* muahahahahaha".
Bill gates brother John, with the help of Akio Morita (owner of sony) have conducted a cyber-military coup on the multibillionare Bill Gates, and seized control of all his assets, including, the legendary 1337 model Xbox 420, and all the nuclear launch codes aimed at the Sony headquarters have been retrieved. Bill Gates was left with nothing, and could not send the payments, he also has no control over his own company, his bank has been frozen, and he is living in a mansion owned by his own brother. Well he's children are living there, he's dead. Over the last few years, Microsoft has been dominating Sony, after joining forces with steam, so Moritas motives for the coup are clear. However, Bill's brother was living in the most luxurious conditions, and people are not willing to accept that he had a part to do in this. Therefore, Big Snake utilized his contact, Mr Tekniq Swagg, the ultimate hacker, to hack into John Gates iphone message history, and they discovered that he was asking for money. Bill gates refused, and John made an interesting statement, which could be considered as a threat. This does not prove anything, but it's a start. Bill gates said "..Kill yourself, and stop being greedy" to his brother, and was met with a eyebrow raising reply "We'll see, *evil grin* muahahahahaha".
Of course the Big Snake forces did some digging, and they were able to find a diary entry of the late Bill Gates. Bill Gates was expecting death, and form someone close. Could it have been his own brother? He said, "I feel like my end is near", he was going mad, claiming to see an "Attic Muss" stalking him, which is clearly a made up species. He was even depressed enough to find and slightly edit a poem. It was all up to his heir Nofilet to save the day, but with no assets, money or his company, he has been left with nothing to seek revenge. He has however, the support of the people, including us, lizard squad, anonymous, Rasna Corp, Technosports and the Melanie and Stigasaurus rex. Princess Nofilet is also the big snakes apprentice, so with time and proper training, he may seek revenge (yes, princess was used on purpose, coz he's weak).
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We can now do nothing, other than wait, until we are able to see what Nofilet can do. As always, good luck we will good you up to date, shoutout to Pipster for being a good assistance, and yes he did get a picture with JB. Good Luck, and remember to kee using the #loominartyconfirmed in all your tweets to show us your support!
MORE SCANDALS REVEALED! "PRINCE" NOFILET GETS REVENGE
16/3/37
A combined assault, under the code "1337" has been conducted with the joint operations of lizard squad, anonymous, Nofilet, and big snake. The hacker teams, have found some interesting things on twitter, and used it to their advantage, in order to get revenge. It has only been three days, but much has been accomplished. The Lizard squad team, ddosed the entire world except the twitter servers, allowing anonymous to break in and hack into the secret Microsoft group, and figure out what John Gates has been up to. the discoveries were quite shocking.
As we expected, the suspects infiltrated the secret Microsoft group, and voice their intentions on taking over Microsoft. It is clearly all an evil plot, made by them, trying to destroy Microsoft. It is reported, that a virus was sent into the ear of the computer, which gave them access to all of Bills accounts, and they stole his company. But Bill was one step ahead, and thanks to us, Nofilet continued on his legacy, and was able to get revenge. Bill sent out a secret message, directly to Nofilet, informing him on what to do, his ghost of a message was attached to an elite MLG 360 degrees quickscope life system, and it was activated as soon as he died, sending Nofilet the necessary messages, so that he may understand the true killer. the twitter post is attached below, where Bill gates tells Nofilet, to seek us, and to use the codes to destroy the twitter accounts of everyone associated with his murder, once and for all.
A combined assault, under the code "1337" has been conducted with the joint operations of lizard squad, anonymous, Nofilet, and big snake. The hacker teams, have found some interesting things on twitter, and used it to their advantage, in order to get revenge. It has only been three days, but much has been accomplished. The Lizard squad team, ddosed the entire world except the twitter servers, allowing anonymous to break in and hack into the secret Microsoft group, and figure out what John Gates has been up to. the discoveries were quite shocking.
As we expected, the suspects infiltrated the secret Microsoft group, and voice their intentions on taking over Microsoft. It is clearly all an evil plot, made by them, trying to destroy Microsoft. It is reported, that a virus was sent into the ear of the computer, which gave them access to all of Bills accounts, and they stole his company. But Bill was one step ahead, and thanks to us, Nofilet continued on his legacy, and was able to get revenge. Bill sent out a secret message, directly to Nofilet, informing him on what to do, his ghost of a message was attached to an elite MLG 360 degrees quickscope life system, and it was activated as soon as he died, sending Nofilet the necessary messages, so that he may understand the true killer. the twitter post is attached below, where Bill gates tells Nofilet, to seek us, and to use the codes to destroy the twitter accounts of everyone associated with his murder, once and for all.
After having access to this information, Nofilet and the team, successfully destroyed the twitter accounts of all those involves, through a "teqniicol" Styled Distributed denial of service attack, they were able to capture anyone involved in this evil action, or has nofilet said "anyone partithipating in this bithneth". Attached to the right hand side is a successfully filed lawsuit against the criminals involved. The lizard squad and anonymous forces ddosed the world. Giving big snake, and his army of lizards, as well as the now king Nofilet, Pipster, Stig, Melanie, and Rasna, were able to attack the island resort in which the criminals were playing rocket league as victory. We successfully hacked into the server, rekt them in rocket league 42-0, after that the lizard squad bombarded them with packets, blowing up the router, while anonymous hacked the electricity, causing it to combust. This resulted in a chain reaction, followed by a 1337 scale earthquake, that burnt and obliterated the two men, for their crimes against Nofilet. Unfortunately, in order for this to happen, lizard squad had to draw power from Nofilet and those involved's twitter accounts, resulting in the full deactivation of each. But Nofilet's last post was "We will definitely continue the fundraiser for the Rothschild, my father is and always will be correct, please help us". May everyone rest in peace, and Enjoy this victory! 666 loominarty news has raised the bar, by wreaking havoc themselves, our reporters were able to get access to first hand exclusive sources, never to be seen again. Please read or terms of services policies that may cover the following:
1. 90 percent chance everything u just read is fake (actually 100) 2. we are not liable for any cancer, aids, or heart attacks you may get after reading this. 3. No Mujtaba's were hurt during the making of this Report. 4. We did not kill anyone. 5. tweeting #loominartyconfirmed does not give you Rasna's autograph, this was a misconception, after we metaphorically mentioned it in a previous report. Thank you to all our reporters that went into the pit of hell to do this report, and we all wish Nofilet a happy life with his company. The Big snake Moey : "I approve this message" |
Basic Summary and explanation, since you might not understand all the references and what happened (THIS IS NOT A PART OF THE STORY):
This appropriation is basically a newspaper article, but the people writing the article are also a part of the story.
Some Jargon and references to know:
MLG: Acronym for Major League Gaming, but is generally used as an adjective to describe something as cool (usually in a sarcastic manner)
Distributed Denial of Service attack (DDOS): its basically a hacker thing that destroys someones internet.
Lizard Squad: These are a group of people that ddosed a bunch of large companies last crhistmas, including microsoft. But i made them the good guys in my story.
Anonymous: A hacktivist group, scary crap.
HAFTecnosports is faris' YouTube account.
Rasna corp is Ansars elite soccer team which i made up (ansar's really bad at fifa so I have to motivate him)
Rocket league is PlayStation game, everyone thinks they're good at it but ther not.
Plot: Bill gates (basically hamlets dad) is very rich, and is doing a fundraiser. As he is going to send the money in the fundraiser, he realizes he has no more money, his brother stole everything he had. This was traumatizing to bill gates and he dies.
Bill gates brother secretly planned to infect his computer with a virus, and hacker his company.
Bill gates son Nofilet, was sent a message triggered by bill gates death (basically hamlets ghost). This message tells him exactly what to do.
Nofilet and his friends, Big snake and the others, hack into the twitter, and find evidence that Nofilets uncle (claudius) was the culprit.
Nofilet and his friends sue and then kill his uncle, then all the twitter accounts involved are deactivated (instead of them all dying).
The end.
This appropriation is basically a newspaper article, but the people writing the article are also a part of the story.
Some Jargon and references to know:
MLG: Acronym for Major League Gaming, but is generally used as an adjective to describe something as cool (usually in a sarcastic manner)
Distributed Denial of Service attack (DDOS): its basically a hacker thing that destroys someones internet.
Lizard Squad: These are a group of people that ddosed a bunch of large companies last crhistmas, including microsoft. But i made them the good guys in my story.
Anonymous: A hacktivist group, scary crap.
HAFTecnosports is faris' YouTube account.
Rasna corp is Ansars elite soccer team which i made up (ansar's really bad at fifa so I have to motivate him)
Rocket league is PlayStation game, everyone thinks they're good at it but ther not.
Plot: Bill gates (basically hamlets dad) is very rich, and is doing a fundraiser. As he is going to send the money in the fundraiser, he realizes he has no more money, his brother stole everything he had. This was traumatizing to bill gates and he dies.
Bill gates brother secretly planned to infect his computer with a virus, and hacker his company.
Bill gates son Nofilet, was sent a message triggered by bill gates death (basically hamlets ghost). This message tells him exactly what to do.
Nofilet and his friends, Big snake and the others, hack into the twitter, and find evidence that Nofilets uncle (claudius) was the culprit.
Nofilet and his friends sue and then kill his uncle, then all the twitter accounts involved are deactivated (instead of them all dying).
The end.